Did I mention I love the Red Sox?

I know I have. :) You'll see more Patriots news as the season approaches. I usually report on highlights from games I thought were fantastic, or games that had noteworthy performance from my standpoint, statistics standpoint- or from a valued source. This time, its both from the game I watched last night- and realizing how important and incredible this accomplishment is- for so many reasons.

Lester has had a few lackluster performances so far this season, to say the least- but none of his teammates, or Francona ever doubted him. They always said, "he has great stuff, he just needs confidence." While I wanted to trust their word, his apparent inability to have a clean inning, and his penchant for gathering several men on base and having to pitch out of tough situations, so on and so forth has been frustrating. I wondered if he would come around,(I hoped he would) and wondered what exactly needed to happen in order for him to gain confidence. I got the answer last night. Lester blew me away with his command, and the aggressiveness he showed at the mound with EVERY hitter. It was the fourth no-hitter of the captain Jason Varitek's career with the Red Sox. No other catcher has that many. It isn't just the statistics that blow me away, its also how difficult it is to accomplish that feat. So many things go into that, from discipline, stamina, and command from the pitcher; but also stellar defense, clean plays, and a cleanly (and creative) called game from behind the plate. The rules are a bit sketchy surrounding no-hitters- I really didn't understand that until reading this article. I didn't really grasp the significance of his accomplishment... until reading that article. All this put together, pitching a no-hitter is a challenging feat that most pitchers could NEVER even dream of doing.

Usually you can tell almost RIGHT away whether a pitcher will make it or not in Boston. Many don't. (perfect example, Eric Gagne. We called him "GAG-ne" ) First, they have to be thick-skinned, strong, disciplined etc to survive the Boston fans. Talent isn't enough up here. This stretches to all New England fans in general, going in line with Belichik's "Do your job" philosophy. You don't do that, you don't survive up here. I was literally brought up learning this from day one- and my love of the game and the Red Sox has never and will never stop growing.

Anyway, that's enough for now.... Congratulations Jon Lester!

Stuck with Lugo?

From FoxSports. com "The Red Sox appear stuck with shortstop Julio
Lugo, who is earning $9 million per season through 2010, but they inquired about the Astros' Mark Loretta in spring training, evidently viewing him as possible infield insurance. A trade for the Giants' Omar Vizquel might be something for the Sox to consider: Vizquel would offer steady and at times spectacular defense, and offense that would be no worse than Lugo's ..." Source: Fox Sports

Affirming Dissonance

4/29-5/13

Who's gonna save my soul now?
question never leaves my lips
God will protect me.
statement never captures my heart
But I do pray.
hope doesn't always match the odds
So I'll hold on tight.
effort doesn't produce freedom
Still I endure the pain.
perspective can't change the truth
So I try to capture the moments of joy.
will isn't enough to shield fear and shame

Who will catch me if I fall?
caution bears no immunity from violation
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
courage to protest often remains unheard
I will stand and fight, no matter the cost.
vehemency won't relieve fury and bitterness
I am not a victim, I am a survivor.
integrity won't serve justice in the end
For those who are gone, I have to speak out.
words betray me, and the burden is mine alone
You devote your time and energy to heal me.
hands cannot fix what is impossible to touch

When my spirit screams, will you hear it?
agony is a silent, nameless solitude
There is always light at the end of the tunnel.
nightmares still haunt me, predicting catastrophy
For every step forward, there are ten steps back.
love keeps me standing, as faith will wax and wane
Life is always passing, going faster when I fall.
scars speak a thousand words, carved into my heart
Depression is a blanket when desire comes up lame.
repugnant thoughts surround me then distance is a friend
Fire won't go quietly, scorching all things reached by wind.
rebirth is my blessing and my spirit will transcend


(praising the greats: nod in appreciation of influence of Gnarls Barkley, Nietzche)

I just keep swimming :)

Badly neglected the blog in the last week, although I'm not sure how many readers I've got yet. Been a little caught up with some writing thats unfinished.... Any of you out there, feel free to speak up anytime. I know I've gotten a few, and if you feel like talking- know it will be anonymous if you choose and that is fine. I look forward to speaking with readers, survivors, poets, athletes... anyone looking to connect.

On a random note- I love the Red Sox, I couldn't say that enough. Love for the Red Sox is definitely in my blood- a ball was in my hands long before I could run the bases.. and we've all, always been Red Sox fans in my family- i've never known any other way, not that i looked for other options. :) I grew up with a bunch of New England sports know-it-all's too, so I appreciate Boston's history and truly enjoy what they've accomplished in the recent years. And now, the depth of the team after so many disappointing seasons is so endlessly exciting. I love watching every game and seeing the talent and dedication these players show. They end up feeling like family, and we all root them on in life and on the field. I'm as dedicated to them, as they are to the field- I think partly because I'm an athlete myself- and i've missed their presense in my life since college. I need to join a baseball/softball league or something and pronto. I feel a bit lost without sports, I've played them all my life.. I've got restless feet and hands. :)

I have endless appreciation for survivors, and loved ones and friends. New ones and old ones, pen pals and mentors. Its such a wonderful gift I'm given, each time I meet or talk to a survivor. Without knowing any/all/every particular person out there- we all have a certain bond that is unmistakable- and unbreakable. We've all survived the kind of trauma that most can't even fathom, and now we've lived to tell about it. It's so important that we do as well, because there are a lot of women and men out there who didn't live to tell about it- and we're honoring them with the stories we tell and ways we connect and support each other. I can't imagine the horrors that others have felt, and I know there have been plenty of women and men who have fared far worse than I did, and have. I feel fortunate that some of you have shared with me- and I carry your courage with me everyday. I hope I can share some of mine. Anyway, I hope you keep reading. Thanks for sharing!