Even the brightest sunrise

With even the clearest, strongest of my dreams...aspirations, I still struggle with doubts and fears. Lately I have been struggling with feeling inferior/undeserving of the love of my friends and family..or the depth of it. As I am devoting my life to grad school... and getting my MSW, I am dealing with a constant lack of time, energy and/or resources to devote to my connnections and relationships. I am a nurturer... and I treat my relationships no differently. But, I feel disarmed at times, even if that sounds dramatic.. I can't give of myself or be involved in others lives like I'm used to, like I want to.
   Since when did dreams become so important, though; that those I love more than LIFE ITSELF, become 2nd in line? How can I expect others to understand, without my ability to reach out as they/I am used to, that it kills me to feel as if everyones lives are moving on without me, as if I'm a distant memory for the next 2 years....as if their lives move on and happen without me for this chunk of time...like I'm on some type of sabbatical from everyone's lives...but my life isn't complete without them. Without those I love, my dreams have no meaning or value. No wealth is worth it or of any value to me if I can't share it with them. This is a battle for me, but I feel responsible to embrace it, in order to live up to my dreams and make something of myself and my life. But in a way it feels as if I am abandoning my loved ones.. even if others "don't see it that way," it feels that way and I'm struggling to deal with that.
     To be continued.....