Blood is Boiling

Please use discretion when reading this piece with your personal boundaries/limitations in mind. This happens to be the author's path of expressing repressed anger and IS NOT A DISPLAY OF THIS BLOG'S literal OPINIONS OR BELIEFS. Simply an artistic meditation on repressed anger and thoughts. THANKS*********************

Blood is Boiling
7/17, 22, 30, 31

Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies.
Tell me that the devil won’t collect it,
if I have to leave my soul behind.
Because sometimes I wish I could let it go
instead of always shoving it inside.

I am always the collector, I just
pick up feelings, and drag them along so
I’ll always have something to feed upon.

Well, things tend to accumulate
In this net that I’ve sewn
Stifling my determination
I’m just trying not to choke
On all your hurt that’s left unspoken.

You came in and knocked down all of my walls
then stepped in between and devoured my heart.
You trounced in and slaughtered without refrain.
Now my blood drenches your teeth and my soul burns in your eyes,
as you chew on my resolve and you tear off my pride.

I am always the collector, I just
pick up feelings, and drag them along so
I’ll always have something to feed upon.

I want to pull out your hair, and rip off your hide
and poison your lungs, as you breathe in your lies.
I’ll air out your pathetic words, and scorch your desire
I will siphon your spirit, and chew on your bones
I will crush your ambition, and destroy your insides.

I will beat you down, and slice you apart
and force you to watch as I carve out your heart.
I will brand your virulence deep onto your breast
then scream in defiance of reason and rest.
No longer will I own the stench of your filth.

I am always the collector, I just
pick up feelings, and drag them along so
I’ll always have something to feed upon.

Love is not enough to bear this inferno everyday
and endure the trampling of rage again and again.
Love is not enough to put my pieces back together
when it’s eating me inside and slowly wasting me away.
Why are parts of me condemned when I’m still dragging all your pain?

(greatful nod to NIN and Fleetwood Mac)

Hanging in the Balance

(6/18-29,7/14) revision in progress

Caught up
I check my past at the door.
We’ve been walking in this borrowed space
but will you let me go, if I walk away?
Or will you haunt my heart for always?
It’s so hard to breathe when
you keep standin' 'round my dreams.
I’ve been losing sleep for weeks, still
I keep running past my means.
I guess I got caught up in you.

Your heart won't let me leave you
but I gotta break these chains.
I feel a caustic fever burning deep within my chest,
incendiary pressure brews an ache I can’t digest.
My back is throbbing and my heart is racing
to shut me in....but I don't wanna win.

My soul is on fire and I can't take this pain away.
It's got me runnin, got me runnin
far past my means I just can't come clean.
When will I be ready to get past this scene?


('props to Anthony Hamilton, India Arie) to be continued...

Time Capsule

(5/09,7/09)
I'm thanking every star in the universe
for whatever brought me to you
I'll be forever humbled by your presence
knowing you've tamed my heart and shared yours too.

I may never realize what brought me to today
or ever understand what caused you to fray.
But I'll be forever humbled by your presence
knowing you changed my life, and I moved yours too

It seems that life's movement has lead me to this
but I find myself dreaming of all that I've missed.
I've watched my life streaming on each brush stroke
but my future will leave me if I can't learn to own.

I know that my heart can continue to thrive
through all of the darkness, and all of the tears.
For now I've put some love on layaway
to surrender to spirit and persevere for all time.



(wrote this a while back, recovered and decided to work on it again...)