Wednesday, April 21, 2010

You can't ever truly grieve unless you've ever truly loved.

This must be why they call heartbreak warfare.
When you come home wounded and spent, you have to
stand up and face your darkness, and still have enough left inside
to win.

I'm standing in the face of the dark
and I feel so alone, so lost, so unsure.
Has my heart failed me?
Have I failed my heart?

Someone asked me "how are you today?" and just the
question, made me cry. Thinking, "I'm struggling."
And then feeling even worse inside.
As the tears were streaming down my face
my head started steaming and the tears turned to rage
I pounded my fists, again and again
crying and yelling, until my hands ached.
Then I sat there wondering why I got so mad
Was it that I was still crying? Was it that
it hurts too much? I'm not sure why I'm angry.
But it's eating me inside.

My emotions are like the ocean shore, with
a heavy undertow. Sometimes if I stand too close,
they'll pull me right under the blanket of waves...
and wash over me everytime I come up for air.
If I look away for a second, or stay a bit too long
the water overwhelms me, and I'm finding it hard to swim.

I don't know what hurts worse.. to find true love then lose it,
or discover the one you love, doesn't love you the way you love them.

I'm not sure what is hurting me the most
I'm not sure what is keeping me up at night.
I'm not sure why, not an hour goes by without my thinking of her.
Yet I shouldn't be surprised, since the day I met her,
I've never stopped thinking of her. She's changed my life.

Now, in a split second... the source of all of this great change
within me and around me. The one I wanted to share a future with,
the one I shared my heart with, the one that I shared my life with...

is gone.. in the blink of an eye, my love, is gone. I love a pocket of emptiness where she used to reside, here by my side. She is no longer.

How quickly things do change....don't blink, because it's gone.

I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.
I think the world of your heart, your soul and mind
I’ll never wish you harm, or ever regret how much I tried
But you should know, you’ll never find a stronger, truer love
Than what you felt from me.
I know that your world isn't coming together
in the fashion that you wish it would
but I have faith you'll find the pieces
and put them in their rightful place.
Don't lose sense of your heart, beneath your mind

con mi futuro a mis pies, todavía mi corazón está vacío sin ti

4 comments:

Sam said...

This definitly touches on some very powerful emotions that are hard for anyone to deal with. Its very hard to give over a lost love, especially in the very early stages. And the inner contradictions are the worst part. Having so many feelings inside and not knowing how to deal with them is also hard, but this poem captures that feeling very well. I really commend you.

http://samsmanifestos.blogspot.com/

Road To The Phoenix said...

Sam,
Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words. Thank you for reading. I hope you'll come back. Feel free to submit if you so desire as well! :) I'll have to check out your page.
Be well,
Phoenix

nothingprofound said...

It's refreshing to see someone being so honest about their emotions and pain. Life can be very disappointing when things don't work out as we wish, particularly in the area of love. You're obviously a person of deep feeling, I'm sure life will present you with many more opportunities.

Road To The Phoenix said...

Thank you. :)

 
VISIT PHOENIX ROAD BOOKS STOREFRONT

Add to Google Reader or Homepage


Tips for New Bloggers
blogarama.com
Buzzer Hut | Promote Your Blog
Blogs Directory

DISCLAIMER:The ads displayed don't necessarily match the opinions of the admin of this site, we relinquish any responsibility for the opinions displayed within the ads and any corresponding sites. Keyword Directory