Ten Days, until the day I died...

until the day my heart sizzled into nothing
Ten days until the day I fell
into an abyss I could never find or
ever escape from hell inside.

Ten days to the day my life fell apart
and spread my pieces all over a world
that I couldn't penetrate.
Ten days to the day I looked in the mirror
and didn't recognize the person looking back.
The living dead before my eyes;
I feared the person in the reflection
a perfect stranger looking in.

Ten days until the day I lost myself
and the soul inside my skin was
scratching, gasping, crying, clawing
to shed the walls that kept her in.
Ten days until I felt the soul
inside me die; and I was powerless
to revive the life that stuttered to a stop.
Ten days until my heart stopped beating
if for an instant it felt as if
it burst open at the seams.

Ten days until the blood inside my veins
was a river of poison covered knives
slicing every source of air
my body could breathe in.
Ten days until the day my legs gave out
my shoulders bowed, my eyes went black.
Ten days until the day I lost my smile
my skin went pale, and my mind went wild.
Ten days until my muscles tightened
my fingers clenched, my torso bent.
Ten days until I crawled inside myself
vowing never to return.

Ten days until a lifetime passed
when eternity became a year.
I must have missed "God's" intuition
when steeped in hell to perservere.
My only hope was my direction
wavering on my faith in love;
my very essense was depending
on my never giving in.
This small raft on which I'm sailing
has stayed afloat just for a while,
just enough to poke my head
out from under the sea i've been
hiding in.

But can you find me where I'm sailing?
When will I know its safe,
to enter into a world demanding
me to cope with my despair
while knowing he's saved face?