Renewal

Thanks Howie Day (1st line and last)

5.4/ 5.10.04

Out of the doubt that fills my mind
my insecurities are akin of a looking glass,
enlarging the depth of the gash on my heart.
When instead of "I love you"
your lips spit out weighty obligation,
my looking glass shatters and I can't shield myself
from the jagged pieces of glass
that fly wildly toward my exposed heart.
I have to look away, although my insides are aflame with rage.
All I can muster is a stream of tears to douse the blaze,
and rings of smoke surround my eyes as I fall asleep.

I somehow find
tonight in my dreams an arctic chill
that arouses an unwelcome tremor in my spine.
As I look around I realize I am alone, and all I have is a
monologue of all my circulating uncertainties
doomed to freeze in the depths of my mind.
When it just keeps getting colder, I learn to surrender
instead of rubbing my hands together for warmth;
I'll just sit and wait as my body gets numb.

With a start
I awake with shifty eyes, only to realize I feel the silence.
Then I realize the presence of someone, an expert in camouflage.
As my eyes strain to focus and the tepid air feathers at my skin,
I realize that I feel nothing of the scolding fire or frozen tremor;
that burdened all of my imaginings.
Standing before me Love, you are an image of resurrection.
Deep inside, you rouse my vision that
between the conflicting fronts of ambivalent skies
You and I, collide.


Author's Comments:
"Regardless of the turmoil in my life this poem is about the recovery of love, passion, and pleasure. Through everything that I've been through that has been a hope of mine, to always have the ability to find my heart, and feel a release of pain; even if it is temporary and simply to re-energize my healing process. There's a lot more to it than that, if you care to know more, send me some mail. :)"